Okay, so I'm not a BIG fan of Fergie. Her songs are catchy and fun to dance to, but there is always something in there that is inappropriate for my daughter to hear. So downloading Fergie on the IPOD is prohibitted in my house!

Then, I see that Fergie is taking some time out to give speeches on teens and sex. For a moment, I thought I might just have to change my mind about her if she is discouraging teenage sex! But I soon realize that we are talking about Hollywood here and it couldn't possibly be true. She talks about having drug problems and cheating on every boyfriend that she ever had. NICE!
While she doesn't recommend that sort of risky behavior, her advice is to have safe sex. After all, that is what builds self esteem! When the boys try to pressure you into having unprotected sex, then they don't like you anyway! To build your self esteem just merely demand that they use protection. That'll show 'em!

What she is forgetting is that the girls are being used, regardless of whether it is protected or not! Having sexual partners as a teen is a good way to lose your self-respect and pride. It also goes hand in hand with drugs and alcohol, which are both illegal for teens as well! How hard would it have been to just discourage this kind of behavior all together? Tell them to have fun and enjoy being a kid as long as they can. Adult behavior is for adults. It takes adult responsibility because the consequences are life changing. Fergie is being sponsored by a make-up company, so I guess this is their promotional message. Besides, any other message would be politically incorrect!

It's a scary world for little girls...

Can I get an AMEN??!! Don't feel bad, I live in the state that wanted to pass a law for the school to give birth control to MIDDLE SCHOOL aged childrennnnn, WITHOUT the parents permission!!!!!!! WTH is this world coming to when the government thinks that a school nurse, has more to say about what your own children do THAN YOU DO?? What is that teaching the kids? Things that make me go hmmmmm, and GRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Yeah, I thought about you when that came up in Maine. We called the inlaws since they live up there and they were defending it. My husband's sister works in a "women's clinic" and has every argument in the book. The saddest part about it is they have a teenage daughter that is being encouraged to participate in "the inevitable activities" of a teenager.

Keep your voice loud in that state, Yellin! It's the only way that the innocent can know there are better choices.

You just can't stop all teen-sex, and it's not right to say that all teen-sex is related to drugs and alcohol. What they need is better sex-education programs in the schools, ones that teach everything and not just about abstinence. The only way to deter children is to let them know all there options, Most kids will rebel because they can, a lot of the time because they grew up in a household that is too restricting (authoritarian.). And I hope SoulMusic comes in here because I know she is studying psychology and she can go into more depth about parenting styles and the psychology behind child development.(Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, etc, parenting styles.)

The reason they are bringing this up, is because as a whole you cannot stop someone elses child from partaking in those types of activities. I think as a whole we need to stop saying that everything about it is wrong or that abstinence is the only way. Why do you think underaged children drink so much alcohol? Because for the most part they like the feeling of rebeling when they are told they shouldn't do something. Without being shown both sides.

Does Fergie send a great message, no, but you can't just clamp down. We need a better way of informing all children of the same thing, instead of just telling them no and trying to hide sex. I think more parents need to promote to their children that sex isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just a thing that maybe should be waited until they are personally ready for it. (And believe me being the only 'pure' one of my friends, most of my friends weren't ready for it and heavily regret it now. They even offer up some stupid excuses like, "I could.")

I personally am waiting until I'm older and more comfortable in my own skin. Especially now that my closest friend is getting ready to have a baby. (Her dad was the type to constantly yell at her about not being in the same room with a boy, or that sex is 'bad'. )

True that you can't stop all teens from having sex because you can't be everyone's parent. Teens don't have sex necessarily to rebel, they have sex when there is peer pressure to do it. The chances that a girl will make advances on her own without any pressure from a boyfriend or friends are slim. The parent that encourages teen sex and provides birth control is the parent that will surely be dealing with an emotional mess of a teen. Everyone seems to forget about the state laws against teen sex. In most states children under the age of 16 can't give consent to have sex. So how is it legal to give them birth control? Baffling...

My parents never talked to me about sex. Instead, they set the example of living a virtuous life. They surrounded me with activities and people that exemplified the same. As I went through school, I was drawn to others like myself. We never drank, smoked or even witnessed drug use. While that may sound like the 50s, it was actually in the late 80s when sex and partying were pretty prevelant among teens. I honored my parents "no dating until 16" and dated guys that respected who I was. I was never even tempted to cross that line. I would have felt extremely uncomfortable attending a health class that was encouraging promiscuous behavior.

If parents decide that is the life that they want for their child, then that is a choice they make. As a mother, I chose something different for my child. I just don't think that it is the government's role to step in and give suggestions and advice when it is not wanted by all. Therefore, I am forced to put her in a private school that will teach her the same way I will. That sex is a gift from God and meant for a husband and a wife. The consequences of having premarital sex can be devastating. The value of self respect gained from waiting is immeasurable. This is my choice for my child and it should be afforded to everyone, whether they can afford a private school or not. Unfortunately, my taxpayer dollars are paying for something that I disapprove of.

But Go you mention that "it should be afforded to everyone", I agree, but they are putting these through to better protect those that ARE having sex.

Besides the fact that not everyone in America is religious or even believes in waiting until they are married, (I'm not just talking about teens having sex here either, but early adulthood as well) it's a bit of a moot point. What you are doing with your own child is great, but like I said before it can't stop others children from doing the same. Which is why I believe having protection available is necessary, I know not everyone is going to stay virtuous so I'd rather them be protected than not.

I do, definitely agree about the peer pressure. Having grown up in an area where you had to drink to be 'cool' or part of the 'in-crowd'. Needless to say I was never 'cool' or part of the 'in-crowd.' However, I got past the peer pressure because I had probably the worst middle school experience you could imagine. (I've dealt with weight problems all my life. You know being bigger than the other girls while being a dancer was not very comforting. Having to go through body issues and now being quite a bit overweight, ruins a self body image.) but my mom had the 'sex' talk with me during my sophomore year in highschool (when I turned 16), and that really put it all into perspective for me. And then I watch my own friends who are either in houses where there are no parents or houses where the parents live a very dictatorial lifestyle, and watching several of them get pregnant, I know how much even condoms may have prevented it from happening. Had them or their boyfriends not been ashamed of buying them for fear of ridicule or persecution. (Granted if they feared it that much, they shouldn't have been having sex in the first place.)

I know it may anger a lot of people, and that as a whole people may think they are preaching that teens should have sex, but I don't honestly think that's what they are trying to do. I think they are trying to keep the risk of STD's and unplanned pregnancies at bay.

That sounds like we are catering to a particular group, though. Abstinence programs are not in every school and the ones that are there are being run off and closed down. I understand the good intentions, but it is giving mixed signals to our youth. So what is a counselor to say to my child about sexual habits when her parents have told her it is not permitted? They will hand out little permissions without my approval. My parental rights have just gone out the door! I still think that this is not the job of the schools to give permission for underage sex.

My job as a parent is to protect my child from the bad things in this world. Unfortunately, now the public school system is a part of that. As far as the bad self image of teen girls, I would bet that 90% of girls are self conscious about their looks. Unfortunately the first bit of attention from the opposite sex makes them more vulnerable to pressure. I was extremely shy and modest so attention from boys certainly made me feel better, but I was just lucky enough to be taught that I didn't have to give in. That it was in my best interest to stay away from that sort of pressure. I also had a desire to please my parents and make them proud of me. I knew getting involved in risky behavior would disappoint them.

Now to address those risky behaviors. Many studies have found that those that get involved in sexual activity as teens also have a high chance of getting involved in drugs and alcohol. It doesn't mean that all of them do, but a very high percentage do. See study below:

National Survey: Teen Dating Practices and Sexual Activity

This discussion is very interesting. Berkana, you are right about me studying Psychology. You are, however, wrong about my gender. I'm a guy lol.

Women definitely are studying Psych in larger numbers than men though. The parenting styles can be helpful in understanding the behavior of people. You already gave the characteristic styles of authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and negligent. Basically, the main thought is that the authoritative style of parenting is best because it permits the person to have structure and rules while still having enough freedom to develop their own beliefs and sense of self. Authoritarian parents create strict rules that are never meant to be broken or questioned while permissive parents believe in total freedom to do what they want. It is the extremes of the moderate authoritative style. Negligent style would be little to no involvement in the persons life and could potentially be the least effective of the styles.

As with most things in life, I agree with the research (look in any Developmental Psych textbook) in so far as aiming for moderation with a more Authoritative parenting style. You don't want to be so restrictive that you inhibit their own unique development or be so permissive as to provide no consistency in their lives. Therefore, you can still be an active parent who provides a consistent structure while still permitting a person to develop their own personality, values, and eventual full identity.

In relation to the topic at hand, I feel that education is always liberation. When we are kept in the dark about things we need to know about, it only aids in increasing the statistics we don't want to see go up. Unplanned teen pregnancy and STD rates, as examples. It was only 7 years ago that I had my required Sex Education class as a Freshman in High School. Of course parents should educate their children about these issues. Even back then I felt like Sex. Ed. in my school was a shadow of what a truly effective education in the topic could be. It was just acouple of chapters that was a more generalized "Physical, Mental, and Social Health" type of a thing.

We need teachers who utilize the correct terminology in a safe setting where these issues can be discussed openly. Only then can we continue to work towards reducing these statistics as we liberate successive generations with the knowledge that is needed.

Again, I agree with Noles and Yellin' about how parents can and should be involved with that education process. It is about a community that creates a safe, healthy, and liberating environment for the next generation to grow up in.

Dangit, Soul! I'm gonna get that right one of these days, I swear! I'm sure you've told me that before.

LOL, it's cool Berkana. The male population here at E-Train is representin'.

Another article on teens and tweens dating

Washington Post

Loved this video that I found:

PURITY MATTERS

11-14 dating, having sex? Where are their parents?

As for Fergie, if she's proudly announcing to the world that she's cheated on past boyfriends, I feel sorry for that hunky soap actor who she plans to marry.

She's probably not the best person to give a speech on teens and sex. :banghead:

Agree 100%. But seriously, does anybody look to FERGIE as a role model? Who in their right mind would do that?

However the birth control thing...no, they should NOT pass out condoms in middle school, that is ridiculous, but I do believe it should be available for high schoolers. Now I'm 100% against pre-maritial sex and believe that students should be taught to wait until they are married, however, some parents aren't there to tell the kids that it is wrong and some kids are just too dumb to listen, so if they rebel and have sex, tada! Pregnancy and subsequent abortion. How sad is that. A little innocent baby killed. I may not like doing anything that looks as though it is promoting sex, I want the babies to live.