Hey everyone! I am getting married on December 31 of this year, in the town in Arizona where I grew up. My fiance grew up in Chicago, and that is where he and I currently live, with our two cats. My parents are still in Arizona and are doing most of the wedding planning at this point.

I can't wait to marry the love of my life but right now I'm kind of wishing I could skip the whole "wedding" part! I'm just nervous about some unforeseen disaster or something. I know it doesn't matter in the long run but I can get very anxious about this sort of thing. There has already been guest list drama and my dad keeps freaking out about the cost even though were are spending much less than the average cost of a wedding.

The wedding is going to be at a small, pretty country club with a gorgeous view of the desert landscape. The ceremony will be outdoors, next to a pond with a small waterfall. It will be officiated by a family friend who is an ordained minister, but the ceremony isn't going to be religious because neither my fiance nor I are religious, and his extended family is Catholic and mine is Jewish. Then after the ceremony we will have a brunch buffet in an outdoor pavilion adjacent to the ceremony site, and there will be a more casual new year's eve get-together at my parents' house that night.

I guess I am starting this thread to seek input from anyone who is married or will be getting married. I'd like to hear the story of your wedding. Did anything come up that you hadn't anticipated? Is there anything you would do differently?

I also love wedding photos so if you want, post those too! :D

I am getting married November 25 of this year and I, too, am nervous about it! Well, the wedding part, I'm not nervous about BEING married.

But, I have found that it is good to be organized. Make lists of things you need to do, what is done, what is paid for, payment schedules if necessary. And don't be afraid to ask your FIANCE for help. I discovered that my fiance has been more than willing to help out with plans...he just wasn't sure exactly what to do. With a little guidance, though, he has been a major help in the process!

Oh, and be sure to HAVE FUN! People keep reminding me of this. Planning a wedding can be very hectic, but try to relax and have fun!

From one bride-to-be to another, Congratulations!!!!!

well, I am far from getting married, but CONGRATS to both of you!!!! :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader:

I'm getting married next May. I have the reception site booked and that's about it. I just finished with finals at school, so wedding planning was on a hold for a bit. To be honest, I hate this planning, and I would rather put my money into the honeymoon, but eloping is not an option (unfortunately). I won't even get into my future mother-/sister-in-law.

I do have a question though. How does a bride ask her friends to be in her bridal party? I was thinking I would send a letter to each of my friends, asking them to be a part of my wedding, but I'm not sure how it is usually done. I didn't just want to ask via phone or e-mail. Any ideas?

Yeah, I'm not so into the whole planning part either... :(

I too am trying to figure out how to ask my friends to be in my bridal party. There are "Will You Be My Bridesmaid" cards - but those seem kind of contrived...I am thinking about asking them over the phone, but I don't know. I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing, I keep worrying that they won't want to but will feel obligated or something...

Congratulations to the people who are getting married! I am not getting married myself, but I have been a bridesmaid 3 times and a maid of honor once, and I can help you out with what your bridal parties might be going through. PM me or e-mail me if you want input.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! Is that around Thanksgiving? Has anyone commented that they think it will be more convenient or less convenient? I've heard mixed things about having our wedding on New Year's Eve.

Are any of you ladies having trouble with your future mother-in-law? I won't even open up this freakin' can of worms if no one else has anything to b*tch about - it'll just make me look bad. :P

I just got married March 10th. My second marriage.

Hubby and I just eloped. We planned the whole thing ahead of time but did not want to deal with a wedding hoopla. We got married in Las Vegas at a charming chapel, and had a blast the entire week. It was a very very exciting and memorable time and we did it OUR way. It was awesome. To include our family and friends we had a big reception later when we got back home.

I cannot tell you how much of a stress relief it was doing it this way, and it ended up being a heck of a fun vacation to boot!!!!

I got married in 2000 and I had a lot of things go wrong -- but it was still the best day of my life and I decided to just laugh off the problems since the only thing that really matter to me was that the groom showed up and we actually got married :D Now, we have some great stories to tell...

Here are some of the things that went wrong for me:
1. My brother's dog (who I had to dog sit while my brother was on the road touring with a jazz band) got sick and almost died 2 days before the wedding so I had to squeeze in a vet trip into my busy schedule. She is fine, now, by the way.
2. I was late to rehearsal b/c the seamstress forgot to add the bustle to the train on my dress and I made her do it while I waited. (If you have a train -- definitely recommend this so you can dance and move around at the reception).
3. My flowers got delivered to the wrong church. Right church name, wrong city. So my ceremony started 30 minutes late to wait for the flowers to get there. Very important: when you confirm with the florist make sure the address for delivery is right. Make them read it to you!!
4. The church was struck by lightning the night before the wedding. Luckily no major damage (except the steeple). Though I did freak out a little b/c a lot of people were against us getting married b/c I'm Christian and he's Muslim -- so I was worried it might be a sign ... but, we've been happily married for almost 6 years -- so, it wasn't.
5. One of the groomsmen was given the wrong pants but didn't have time to go pick up the right ones. His girlfriend got them there in time for pictures afterwards -- but during the ceremony -- his pants didn't match. Luckily -- it wasn't a major difference -- but you could definitely tell.
6. Our unity candle wouldn't light. If you use one -- make sure it is a DRIPLESS candle. The salesperson at Yankee Candle didn't tell me that would be an issue (even though I told them what I was shopping for).
7. I had a terribly upset stomach from nerves an hour before the wedding. Luckily I packed some immodium just in case. So, I would recommend you have that on hand, too.

And as for the mother-in-law thing. Well, I had that at first. She didn't approve b/c of the religious differences. The first thing she asked when my husband told her we were getting married was 'is she pregnant?' I decided, for my husband's sake, to let all that go and not hold a grudge. We didn't really get along until her husband passed away a few months after we were married. I helped her out a lot during that time and tried my best to follow their customs (wearing all black during the mourning period when I was around her, etc.) and she started to respect me. Now we get along pretty well, although we don't agree on everything. So, there is hope ... just try to let things slide as much as you can for your husband's sake. He'll appreciate it and you'll end up looking like the better person for it.

Oh hun, bitch away. I'm working 12-hour days and my FMIL invited a herself and a few of her friends over to my fiance's and my apartment this weekend even though she knows I am swamped and don't have much extra time to clean/entertain. She also calls me all the time and pretends that she doesn't hear me when I tell her that I have to go. ALSO she bought plane tickets for me and my fiance to go with her to California to visit her brother without consulting me about the dates first (I can't go due to work-related obligations).

Seriously, she is a big source of stress in my life, a very sweet person but she thinks I "owe" her a lot more than I'm willing to give...

Okay. I'm not married (far from it), but have been in LOTS of weddings and have helped plan several. As far as how to ask your friends how to be attendants, I've been asked several different ways. One friend asked me in person, which was cool; she and her fiance took me out for dinner and asked me together to be in the wedding. My sister just told me that I was going to be in her wedding -- hey, that's what sisters are for, right? My best friend made up an invitation on her computer (very cute). The front said "You Are Invited" and the inside looked something like this:

When: for the next six months, with an emphasis on June 17
Where: name of town and church
Why: because you were there from the beginning of our relationship and we want you there to help us take the next step.
What: you already are a great friend, now we would like you to be a bridesmaid, too.

It all came in a package to my house (completely unexpected) with a photo of me and the bride, in a frame decorated with the wedding colors. It may have been a little cheesy, but it's a great memory and it's something that I'll always treasure.

Congratualtions on getting married!

That's a very cute idea. I like it. Thanks for sharing.

:lol: She pretends she doesn't hear you when you say you have to get off the phone??? Geez.

So I take it she lives close to you guys? I'm lucky in that my FMIL lives about 5 hours away, however she is always expecting me to go along with my fiance when he goes to visit. We're both in school, and we're both working this summer. She expects us to just take off from work to go out there, but I, unlike my fiance, do not do what she says at the drop of a hat.

She wants kids at the wedding. I absolutely do not want kids there. I like kids, but this is an evening wedding, and I'd rather they not be there. So she knows that I don't want kids there, yet when she gives me her guest list, the first thing I notice is that it is littered with the names of my fiance's young cousins. I think she had about 8 or 9 kids on there, all under the age of 9. Yea, and she also included a FETUS on the list. The kid isn't even born yet, but it's on my damn wedding list. Fanf*ckintastic lady. :poke:

I am getting married on October 14th!!
I am so nervous wonder I am a good wife or not! I hate doing housework but I will try my best!! :cheerleader:

Oh my gosh. So I should definitely anticipate things going wrong and most importantly learn to roll with the punches that I may encounter on my wedding day. Lightning striking the Church?? On top of everything else? Wow. :blink:

I was recently in my friend's wedding, and all of the bridal party went crazy trying to keep her dress bustled up so she could move around and dance. The bustles ended up breaking and she ended up ripping a decent amount of her dress. Luckily my firend had just enough to drink (not drunk, just toasty) that she absolutely didn't give a crap.

On the dog note - did you ever see the video of the groom who showed up to his wedding with an radiograph of his dog's abdomen? Apparently the dog ate the wedding band the night before and he rushed the dog to the emergency room. The radiograph revealed the wedding band in the dog's stomach, but the vet recommended waiting until the dog passed the wedding band. So the groom ended up holding up the radiograph and showing the wedding band at the time that he was supposed to exchange vows with the ring. :lol:

That is too funny about the dog eating the wedding ring. Although that was a cute way for the groom to handle it.

I had a lot of things go wrong -- but, overall, everything was great. The reception was wonderful and everyone had a good time, so my point is not to worry over little things. Even with all the things that went wrong -- it was still a perfect day for me. And a lot of things went right, too. The big storm that caused the lightning also happened to cool things off the day of the wedding which was great b/c I got married in the middle of July. So, everything worked out.

Off topic a little -- speaking of dogs. My husband got my dog involved when he proposed to me. He attached the ring box to my dog's collar with a note attached asking if she could keep him and listing all the reason why she wanted him to stick around. It was so cute :wub:

May the force be with you :rocker:.

"My parents are still in Arizona and are doing most of the wedding planning at this point."

My only regreat about my wedding is that I wasn't more involved with the planning. I left it to my sister-in-law, and while everthing went well, I just wished I had been more hands-on about some things. That was 13 years ago and I still hem and haw about it...so maybe you might consider being more hands-on, if time permits, of course. And your wedding sounds very pretty.

Congratulations on your special day and marriage!

I'm getting married in Sept. And I need to vent. lol

Luckily FMIL is very nice and helpful. Biggest problem so far is Brother in law - professional moocher and potstirer. :poke: I already don't like him for a lot of things - but bite my tongue most of the time. (owes us money while spending thousands on crap, steals money from his parents, involved in a "side business" etc) But, now we got our first arguement about the wedding because his brother is inviting all these people I don't want there. Like guys from his work that are wanted for felonies, a guy whose gf is in jail for murdering people, guys he only knows from bars that are huge drunks, and even guys from work that are homeless drugaddicts (yes that's right!). One of the guys he invited started a huge fight at their friend's wedding and the cops brokeup the reception!!!! FI just tells me that's how they do it in Montana (which is bull) and he can't tell people he's known not to come (I say he can and at the very least tell his bro to STFU!!). Just because you once knew someone doesn't mean they have the right to crash your wedding. :2guns: :2guns: ( <- hopefully not what my wedding will look like!)

I am not only scared about the wedding being a disaster but as an only child I am so worried for my parents. They've never been here and won't know most of the people there. Imagine thier only daughter getting married, my family flying in from back East and Europe and theres a fight or something. They would be mortified. :cry: :bawl:
Sorry so long I just really need to get that off my chest.

Congrats to all of the brides to be!

I married my best friend December 29, 1995!

We moved our wedding date to just after Christmas because we got our apartment in November and didn't see a need to wait until March to get married. Our parents helped pull everything together in a months time. Needless to say, we had a small wedding, but it is what we wanted. My brother-in-law even surprised us by singing our song "Keeper of the Stars". The only thing I would have changed would have been the minister. Everyone stood through our entire ceremony, until we lit the unity candle and my brother-in-law sang. Of course we didn't know this until we were back from our honeymoon and watched the video. Any hoo, I couldn't have asked for more!

And as for mother-in-laws, don't fret, they aren't all bad. I have a wonderful mother-in-law! I really consider her a good friend!

Thanks for letting me share!

Hey, doing housework has nothing to do with being a good wife. You will be in a good partnership if you and your husband let love and mutual respect for each other determine your physical and emotional contributions to the relationship. That's my philosophy at least :)

Oh my goodness. :blink:

Is there someone else in your fiance's family that you can talk to about this situation? Would your FMIL be receptive to it?

Or is there a way that you can put a limit on the guest list by saying "no coworkers" or something, to at least reduce the number of people you aren't comfortable with?

A general rule about wedding planning that I've come across is, "If it will upset the bride, DON'T DO IT!" People need to respect that!!!

Good luck!

Yeah, my FMIL lives about 45 minutes away...

I've had guest list issues with my FMIL too :(. You are calling the shots with the guest list - if you don't want kids there, then there aren't going to be kids there. Simple as that.

One way that we skirted some of the wedding-planning issues with my FMIL is that we are going to be having a reception in Chicago, as well, and she can invite however many people she wants because she is paying for it! LOL.