I didn't see a topic for this, so I thought I'd start one:

Do you or a loved one suffer from a mental illness? Do you want to talk about it with people who understand what you are going through? Or do you just have a question? Or do you just need to vent?

I myself have bipolar disorder and OCD. I have a great doctor and I am on medication that works for me, but I still have ups and downs, and I find it is very helpful to talk to other people about it. Sometimes it can be much easier to talk to someone online rather than face to face!

This is just for support--NO judgements, NO diagnoses. There is NO shame in suffering from a mental illness. This should be a safe place for all of us.

I know it takes a lot of guts to talk about it. I look forward to talking with you!


Karen :)

hi wee ^ ^
Im sorry you got stuck with that :( but its awesome you are doing so well , you get a million kudos points, hehe. My only living grandmother has Bipolar too, and i love her but she does drive everyone a bit crazy lol ^ ^;;
She lives really far away though, so no one is at each other's throats.
My brother has autism, and hes alot better than he was, but sometimes he does go back to some of his old things. He seems to have it out for me especially lol ^ ^;; and all though he is 18 and very tall and big , he acts like hes 9, and when he gets angry and physical , its gotten dangerous ^ ^;
He picks on me alot and says im going to die and go to hell, and things like that which hurts alot and makes me cry :/ or that hes going to kill me in my sleep. (i lock the door at night lol ^^;; )
but i try to be as good as i can about everything ^ ^;; Its not as bad as it used to be now that i finally have work and hes at school.
When i was a kid and i used to have insurance, i got told i have ADHD, but people say it doesnt count as a real condition so i guess i cant count that lol.
It sure seems to make things hard though ^ ^; at least whatever it is seems to.
It was millitary health care, they rush you in and out and everythigns on the cheap lol. I didnt really get much help with anything and i had to negotiate my way into graduating from school^ ^;; lol but my brother is blessed with quite a bit of help at least.
I hope your doing okay today ^ ^ see you

Hey Elliotyael! I don't know anybody with autism, but it sounds like you've had it rough with your brother, big hugs to you!

ADHD is a real condition; I wonder why they told you it wasn't. It seems like the insurance world hasn't caught up with things yet.

I am doing well today, thanks for asking! Hope to talk to you again!

Karen :)

i have seasonal affective disorder. i did really well this past year, because i spent the winter in Los Angeles ... but now that i'm back on the east coast, i'm not thinking it's going to go as well. even a few cloudy days can be enough to send me into a depression. it's tough, but, i guess all i can do is cope

Hi ElliottAshah! My bipolar makes me sensitive to light, so I certainly can relate to SAD. I have a lightbox which really helps me when I get depressed because of dark or cloudy weather. Have you heard of lightboxes? It really helps me. If you google "lightbox" you should be able to come up with some good info; if not, let me know, and I can find out more info for you.

Actually, try "light box therapy," I just googled that and it came up with some good stuff.

Thanks for posting--big hugs to you!

Karen :)

My youngest brother is schizophrenic. Wow, it is really hard to deal with sometimes. He has been on MANY different kinds of meds. Some leave him like a zombie, some make him really manic. But mostly, they keep him pretty numb- no highs and no lows.

It is really very sad. He is a very handsome young man and he is really a genuinely NICE person. But, when his meds are off, he can be confrontational and irrational. It breaks my heart. I do love him so much. I wish I could help him.

My mother is now in end stage dementia/Alzheimer's. Her body is here but she's no longer in it. This has to be one of the worst diseases to affect anyone. I would give anything to just have even 30 minutes to sit and actually have a conversation with her.

I work in AD research and I just wanted to tell you that I am so, so very sorry for what you are going through. Every time I hear another account of someone whose life has been affected by that devastating illness, it breaks my heart, and makes me wish that we were making more inroads with our work...

:bearhug:

I have ADHD, general anxiety, social phobia, and unipolar depression. Additionally, I have a metabolic disorder that could explain some of the mental problems but isn't a direct cause. I'm on medication and doing pretty well, though.

Thanks for the love zekbee, it's horrible to watch someone you love decline like that. Sorry to hear about your problems, glad the meds are helping. Here's a great bug bear hug back at ya :bearhug: :bearhug: :bearhug:

My grandma has Alzheimer's but she's taking medication. She can still recognize us. Everytime I talk to her, she would ask me the same questions only seconds apart, but I really don't mind. Some people may find that annoying, but I don't. I would rather she ask me the same questions all the time than not have her ask me anything at all.

And I tell her that I love her everytime I call her on the phone.

I suffer from depression and anxiety. Am trying to get medication adjusted, but I hate my doctor, so I don't have a good working relationship with him. My therapist I love, though, so that is one good thing. Not having great days lately, but am working on it.

Had pretty much a nervous break down almost a month ago. Watched the AI finale from the psychiatric ward of a hospital .. so it was pretty serious. Being there was hard b/c of the stigma attached to it. No one at work knows the reason I was there -- so the secrecy is a burden, too. But it is better for my career if they don't know, so I don't really have a choice.

Glad this thread was started. It is nice to chat with folks who understand what it is like.

Glad to see people posting and sharing!

Hey scarlett! I'm so sorry you hate your doctor. That must be really hard. I'm really lucky to have one that I really like. Is there any way that you can switch to another one? I'm glad you love your therapist, though; that's good!

I'm sorry you've been having a tough time of it lately. I've never been in the psych ward, but I've come pretty close. I know EXACTLY what you mean about keeping your illness from your work, and having to deal with the secrecy. That stigma is still there. I think it's getting better with time, but it's still there and it shouldn't be there at all. I've had to quit jobs because of breakdowns and I couldn't tell them the real reason. I did tell one employer, though, and they were pretty understanding, but I've had to hide it most of the time from employers. Then I feel like I'm lying. It can be so frustrating, I know.

Good luck with getting your meds adjusted; I hope your doctor will do it for you.

Big hugs,
Karen :)

I've been dealing with depression here and there. I'm the kind of person who makes others' problems my own, which might be OK if I didn't have my own issues to deal with... Anyway, my mom's been encouraging me to see a therapist, but I don't see how merely "talking" will help. And from what I hear, a lot of the meds have bad side effects.

Hey luvE!

It's true, a lot of meds can have bad side effects, but the great thing about living in this day and age is that there are now a lot of meds out there, so if one doesn't work for you, there is a good chance that there is another one that will. I've been on meds that gave me side effects I didn't like, so my doctor and I switched to another one, and that one didn't give me side effects and it worked for me. Everybody reacts differently to each medication. For example, I know some people who swear by Effexor (an anti-depressant), but I tried it, and it didn't work at all for me. I just stayed depressed. So I switched to another one called Remeron, and it totally did the trick, without side effects. It can take time to find the right one, but from my own personal experience it was worth it, because as someone with bipolar, it's a chemical imalance in the brain, and I need medication for it as much as someone with high blood pressure needs their medication, or any other physical illness.

I understand what you are saying about seeing a therapist. It seems pointless at times. All I can say is that when I finally went to one, I was so surprised at how much she helped me, because she was experienced in helping people going through exactly what I was going through. I have to say, though, that to get better, I had to be on the medications AND see her at the same time, because my mind was so foggy that nothing anybody said helped, but when the meds lifted some of the fogginess, then I was in a better frame of mind to listen. OK, I know I'm totally rambing now!

It's nice that your mom is looking out for you.

OK, I'm going to stop now, but I just have to say: GO E ON THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!

Karen
:D

Thanks for sharing. Yeah, I should probably at least try something.

Karen,

If you look on the "Depression" thread you will see a post from me about my mother and growing up with a bipolar parent. I think it might be interesting to you.

Hugs,

Bronwen

Meta, I just read your posts over on the depression thread. I admire your courage in sharing all that, and I have much compassion for you that you had to endure so much with your mother. I think my own mother may have some mental illness issues, but she would never admit it.

I don't have children, and one of the major reasons I am very reluctant to do so is because I don't think I would be able to handle parenthood due to the bipolar and OCD, well mainly the bipolar. Right now it seems just too big a risk for me to take, and I would hate to cause a child trauma due to myself. Some people tell me I should just do it anyway, but it's a huge decision, and I am still thinking about it, and the only person who can decide it for me is me. Fortunately, I have a wonderfully supportive husband who, while he does want kids, would never jeopardize my health.

I was wondering if this thread should be closed, because there are a lot of people on the depression thread, but I think I would like to continue to post here, because people can post about other mental illness besides depression. I guess I'll be looking at both of them! As long as people are feeling courageous to post and are feeling supported, I don't care which one it is.

Karen

eeee..im sorry it took me forever to get back to you *ashamed*
thanks so much for the hugs!

My 17 year old brother was diagnosed about a year ago and hes had the same experience with the meds, most made him like a zombie, he would just sit there for hours, whatever hes taking now makes his really hyper and actually really pleasant to be around, but when he forgets to take the meds, he gets sooo angry and hates everybody. Everytime i call my moms house, he lives with her, i can tell how hes doing by the tone of his voice, hes seeing a great councilor right now to help him deal with living with this, he was in denial for so long and would blame everything on his 'disease', now he realized that it's something hes going to have to deal with and is doing a little better...

....my heart goes out to you because i understand how hard it is to watch somebody that you love act that way and no that there isnt a whole lot you can do to help them out :glomp: :glomp:

Also, not to hog the thread, I've suffered from depression for a few years now, I didnt deal with it for so long because i kept thinking 'Oh this will go away, it doesnt matter whats upsetting me, somebody SOMEWHERE in the world is going through something much more serious than what i am so i shouldnt complain' The depression got really bad when i was in school because i had NO idea what i wanted to do with my life and got soo overwhelmed trying to pick a major, after 2 meltdowns, i finally talked to my mom and my doctors about it, and i've been on Prozac for a little over 2 years now, I'm glad i finally listened to them, i feel a lot better most of the time and when i AM feeling down i've been blessed with a wonderful support system of people who will listen to me and be there for me! I think this is a great thread and i'm glad it was started, it's comforting to know that no matter what we're going through, someone else is going through the same thing, just knowing that i'm not alone really helps.

wow, its really great that we can talk about serious things that affect our lives daily and we can support eachother like this. my father suffers from depression. he had been living with it for a very long time now and takes a lot of medication for it. the worst part is that my family tried/tries to hide it from me and they dont think i know. but one day when i was younger i searched the name of one of my dad's meds online and it came up. i know they are just looking out for me but i would like to be able to talk about it with the rest of my family. he seems to be okay when he is on his meds but he also has insomnia and its not a good combo. he is also at very high risk of becoming diabetic, his doctor told him that about a year ago. i try to look out for him as best i can while i pretend not to know all this. wow, ive never ever talking about this with anyone ever in my life, it feels good to know we have a support system here. :)

Hey Cheetah! Don't worry about hogging the thread, post as much as you want! *hugs* I'm glad the Prozac is helping you and I'm really glad you have a wonderful support system of people--I have that, too, and it's soooooo helpful!

Hey there, Voted Elliott2hrs (great name!) I'm really glad you feel that you can post here; it really does help to talk about these really hard things and know that we all support each other! I really hope that one day you can talk to your family about what's going on with your dad--big hugs to you!

Karen :)

:bearhug:

Hey, I really appreciate that, I'm so glad we have a thread here for this and that people are actually posting here! :glomp:

Karen,

It is a serious decision to make: becoming a parent especially if you have a health issue that can be hereditary. I applaud your courage and that of your husband in facing facts squarely. It is the only way.

Seems like we have a lot of things to talk about. I am thinking of how much editing of my Scottish adventures I will have to make for your delicate ears.

Bronwen

What makes you think my ears are delicate, LOL!

Chee,

Thanks for sharing that! My brother is 32 and has been diagnosed for about 14 years. He is living in a group home now. It is really much better for everyone concerned because they MAKE him take his meds and they are better equipped to recognize and deal with any setbacks.

We knew something was wrong, but didn't know what it was until he was admitted to the hospital after a suicide attempt. It wasn't until then that we realized what was going on with him. He admitted that "the voices" told him what to do.

The good thing is that he knows that he is the only one who hears these voices. From what I understand, this really puts him at an advantage.

Anyway, I feel for you, too! God Bless!!

:glomp:

Karen, I know it is a huge decision to have children. I didn't take it lightly. I started getting therapy and taking medication about 1 year before I conceived. I knew I had a lot of issues to work out before I felt comfortable doing that. Plus, 9/11 had just happened and I wasn't sure about the state of the world.

One thing I would caution about having children is dealing with the medication (or lack of it) during and after pregnancy. I think that was a major issue in getting into the state I am today. I stopped taking my medication during my 2nd trimester with my daughter and then restarted after I had her. It was a tough decision since I was breastfeeding -- but the benefits clearly outweighed the risks. With my son, I stopped before I conceived and then tried to restart after he was born, but he had really bad eczema and I was afraid the medication was a possible cause. (Turns out it wasn't). I was kind of on a natural high from having my son. For some reason -- maybe the hormonal changes -- my mood greatly improved while I was pregnant. I had some crying spells after he was born, but honestly it was due to lack of sleep more than anything else. Since I felt good and the issue of my son's eczema, I didn't think I needed my medication. I was wrong. I can see now it was a gradual progression back to my depression -- but at the time, I couldn't really see that was what was happening and didn't take steps to stop it. I think if I had paid attention, I wouldn't have let myself get this far down.

You are right that no one can make that decision for you. But, I think if you are committed to getting treatment and try to plan ahead for how you are going to address the issues of medication during pregnancy, etc, you can still be a good parent. No one is perfect after all. My mother suffered from depression, too and while she wasn't the perfect parent, one thing I can say is that I always knew I was loved.


:bearhug:
Heather

my brother attempted suicide twice before we figured out what was wrong, it's soo hard not knowing what to do, the meds work WHEN he takes them it's hard to get a teenager to do anything....but they work wonders but i'll never be able to trust them. The voices are soo scary! As far as I know my brother hasnt heard voices in a while but i know he could at any time, and i wish he was at the point where he knew when he was and knew to ask for help, i'm proud of your brother for recognizing them!

I'm here if you ever need to talk!

Joanna

I just wanted to say that I am glad this thread was started as well! I have had some depression before, well, post-partum after my son was born 3 1/2 years ago. However, I think I have some issues with the PMS disorder. I am not making fun, or joking....I have like 2 good weeks out of the month and the week of my period I am soo emotional! I can cry over any little thing! I went to my family dr. (not for that but another problem,)and started bawling. He asked me what was going on, did I feel depressed, I told him I didn't think I was depressed but it was that time of the month. He gave me a prescription for lexapro, and told me to see my GYN so, I have an appt set with him next month. I have major mood swings 1-2 weeks prior to my period! Not fun! soo..

Thanks for letting me share and I wish you all luck! I will say a prayer for you all!

fivfteven,

Bless your heart! Those hormones can be rough. I've always had problems with PMS -- but I've been lucky it hasn't gotten too bad. I hope the medication helps. I hope the doctor's can figure out what is going on with your hormones. Maybe something else besides the Lexapro could help.

Good luck! Thanks for sharing -- keep us posted on how you are doing.

Hey scarlett and fifteven! I can totally relate to having PMS trauma: some people do joke about it a lot, but it's not fun, and VERY real. I find that my bipolar tends to act up the week before my period. Even though I know why it's happening, I still feel awful.

Fivfteven, I really hope the Lexapro helps!

Big hugs to both of you,

Karen :)

Thanks! I have been on it a week, so it is finally getting into my system a little. I know it takes a week or two to really feel any differences, so....

PMS is hard enough but when it is amplified, oh my it is terrible!

Thanks again for the thoughts, prayers and hugs! I send the same to you all!

Just got back home today. Spent the last week in the hospital again. This time I took an overdose. My husband found me and called 911. Luckily, I didn't suffer any permanent damage from it -- and I'm still here.

I still can't say exactly what happened. I was taking my meds, but they weren't helping. I kept all my appointments with the psychiatrist and therapist. But nothing was making me feel better. The last straw was that I was having problems at work. Had worked all night and came home in the morning. I was very calm when I did it -- no crying, nothing. My mind was just so messed up that it seemed like the best solution at the time. I just thought everyone would be better off without me.

But, I got a new doctor and I really like him. He put me on some different meds and I am finally starting to feel okay for the first time in a very long time. I can't believe that I put my family through this and that I was willing to miss out on my kids' lives .... but that is what the illness does to you. Robs you of your ability to think rationally. I have a lot of amends to make, but luckily my family has been so supportive. They just want me to get well.

I tried to hide my problems from everyone before -- but this time I am being open and honest and letting the chips fall where they may. I told my boss -- and if it damages my career, so be it. The most important thing is getting better. I've finally accepted that now.

I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for letting me share this. It helps to have another outlet to talk about what I am going through. Hope everyone is having better luck in their struggle that I have recently, although I do think I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Wow Scarlett! That is VERY brave of you to share. I'm so glad that you are feeling better and have found a doctor that you like.

Thank God that you are still with us! Take care of yourself.

:glomp:

Thanks Joanna!! Same here.

:glomp:

Thanks. I'm glad I'm still here, too. I have found that being open about everything has been very freeing for me. The burden of keeping my problems a secret was a stressful. Not that I tell everyone -- but it helps to be able to share what it going on with someone who is supportive. I felt ashamed of my problems before. But honestly, I'm tired of being ashamed of it. I have a physical condition that alters my thinking and behavior. I'm not "crazy". I just have faulty brain chemistry that requires medication. It is no different than someone who has seizures or diabetes or high cholesterol.

I'm feeling so much better now. I think I have finally found the right combination of medication. I honestly haven't felt this good in a very long time.

I hope that if anyone else is struggling, they'll learn from my mistakes and get the help they need. And if they don't get what they need -- they'll keep asking until they can find someone who can help them. I wish I had switched doctor's before things got out of control again. I am learning that I have to be my own advocate and that I don't just have to follow blindly the advice of a doctor b/c he has a medical degree and I don't. You still have to listen to your own body to know if something is working for you and it is okay to speak up if you think your treatment isn't helping.

I'm very lucky to have been given a second chance and I'm working really hard to make sure I take advantage of this opportunity to be happy.

I hope everyone is doing well. Take care of yourselves!

Scarlett! *huge hugs*

Thank you so much for sharing--that takes a lot of courage!

I know what it feels like to feel that suicide is the best option--it's such a horrible feeling, but it's just because of the illness, like you said. I'm so glad your husband found you and that you are still here with us!

I'm also glad that you have found a better med combo--that can make all the difference in the world, I know. It sounds like you've got a good doctor now who's going to really take care of you. What you said is so true--you need to find a doctor who is good for you, and will try other medications if your current ones are not working.

For the first two years after I was diagnosed, no one but my husband knew. I didn't tell my best girlfriend (although she kind of guessed) or my parents, nobody. I was too scared. Then I read about someone being open about their bipolar, and I thought if they can do it, then I can do it. So I told my parents and some friends, and they were so supportive. Like you found out, it really does help to be open about it--it frees you in so many ways, especially from the shame that shouldn't be there anyway, but sadly our society has created. Like you, I don't tell everyone--I wait to see if they are someone I can trust.

I am sure that you sharing your story is going to help people who read this thread, even if they never post. The more we are open, the more we can overcome the stigma that's out there that it's our fault, because of course it isn't.

More hugs,
Karen :)

Hi, sweetie, you and Scarlett are very brave to share your experiences. Historically women have had a problem talking about their mental states because one of the ways they used to put women in their places was to say they were "crazy" and put them in an institution.

I believe somewhere you talked about the PMS problems making the situation worse. Those of us who suffer from being, waht I call, "estrogen junkies" really relate. The ups and downs of the cycle have to be realistically dealt with for our own sakes.

I think you left out another component to this picture which is intelligence. These disorders often happen to the highly intelligent. I have made it a life long study to understand how high doses of intelligence make an organic difference to the growth and development of the physical body including the brain, of course. If you would like me to share a few of those insights and facts, I would be happy too.

Again, the only way to assist yourself is to be kind TO yourself. It is the only way.

With affection,

Bronwen